holla @ me

ha

haha

hahaha

hahahaha
hahahahhaha

hah
haha
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ha
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*cues Christmas music because its November 1*

ha
ha
ha tell me im funny

No. ok. rant time. here i go.
do i go? do i share my feelings? im not sure. feelings are dumb right?

hello. my name is tammy and i dislike the aesthetic of the uppercase letter. Sometimes, like this instance, i find it appropriate, but most of the time i think that the use of it is excessive and annoying and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
why do words trend? who starts a word to make it trend? what the hell instigates a word to trend?

Hi. I'm Tammy and I believe in God. Do you believe in God?

This is a stream of my thoughts, and ultimately it will lead to the stream of my feelings. This is how i distract myself from telling others how I feel, because honestly I think allowing others to know how you feel is a sign of weakness. I know its cliche of me to feel this way, and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I'd rather have people think I'm weird, self centered, confused, and happy go lucky all the time.

Today is November 1.
Yesterday was October 31.
Feelings suck.

I don't get attached to people a lot of the time; quite frankly if I lost all my friends I wouldn't really feel all that sad. Maybe I'll feel lonely, but I can always find new friends. No big deal.
Who do I get attached to then?
People who I'm into romantically.
I don't know I think its really dumb for me to do that, but I can't help it. Like I want to care from the bottom of my heart, but I can't feel it for my friends. I can show that I care, but I don't feel it. And its hard because why can someone I like romantically be the only person I can truly care for????
Is this normal? idk.
whatever.
But again rn romantic feelings are everywhere and I want to slap a pillow because I hate it.
I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.
why must I care so much for someone that doesn't care so much for me?
And this seems to happen so often. Over the past year especially. I build up feelings for someone, and they either have the same feelings, but can't reciprocate or commit, or they just don't feel anything at all.
WHY
UGH

ok. rant done.

goodbye tummies hehe

:) tammy