Dear               ,

I don't understand what you're going through and I hope you don't reflect this on me. I get it you're not where you want to be goal wise, and our relationship might be in the way of it too. I hope you don't get too frustrated and you decide to see someone else or spend time with another person because I'm not what you want. I hope you give me at least a forewarning and I hope I really am the love of your life. I'm upset, worried, and paranoid, and I want to sleep but the fact that you're not responding to me, has me restless. I feel tired, but I'm just waiting.

I'm sorry,
Tammy

Why I Regret Getting an IUD

Its been about 6 months of excruciating pain since getting my IUD- the skyla to be exact.

Its been a while since I had a period

But its been 6 months since I've been bleeding out of my genital cavity for months on months 

on months except for a maximum of 

2 days

Its been 6 months since I haven't cramped almost everyday 

Its been 2 weeks since I've been taking estrogen

Its been 2 weeks and I'm still bleeding

My quality of life is depleting

My blood flow is decreasing

and my energy is too

My IUD

has been such a pain 

for me 

regret. 

2017

Bruh
How the hell is it 2017?!?!?!!!!!!
Also it's 4 days in and so much has happened but let me just reflect on 2016.
So like 2016 was super great and interesting for me personally but maybe not for the world.
Also please excuse my grammar and everything I type because I'm full of shit. No I'm not lying about anything.
Anyways yeah interesting year for me. Because I am self centered and everything here is everything about ME. Fuck this.
Ok 2016:
I lost my virginity.
graduated high school
College
Traveled a bit
Met amazing people
Clubbed
Might have met the love of my life
Went to the hospital

Whatever I'm in a weird mood rn

Farewell
I should probably sleep

Xoxo
Tammy

holla @ me

ha

haha

hahaha

hahahaha
hahahahhaha

hah
haha
ha

ha
ha

*cues Christmas music because its November 1*

ha
ha
ha tell me im funny

No. ok. rant time. here i go.
do i go? do i share my feelings? im not sure. feelings are dumb right?

hello. my name is tammy and i dislike the aesthetic of the uppercase letter. Sometimes, like this instance, i find it appropriate, but most of the time i think that the use of it is excessive and annoying and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
why do words trend? who starts a word to make it trend? what the hell instigates a word to trend?

Hi. I'm Tammy and I believe in God. Do you believe in God?

This is a stream of my thoughts, and ultimately it will lead to the stream of my feelings. This is how i distract myself from telling others how I feel, because honestly I think allowing others to know how you feel is a sign of weakness. I know its cliche of me to feel this way, and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I'd rather have people think I'm weird, self centered, confused, and happy go lucky all the time.

Today is November 1.
Yesterday was October 31.
Feelings suck.

I don't get attached to people a lot of the time; quite frankly if I lost all my friends I wouldn't really feel all that sad. Maybe I'll feel lonely, but I can always find new friends. No big deal.
Who do I get attached to then?
People who I'm into romantically.
I don't know I think its really dumb for me to do that, but I can't help it. Like I want to care from the bottom of my heart, but I can't feel it for my friends. I can show that I care, but I don't feel it. And its hard because why can someone I like romantically be the only person I can truly care for????
Is this normal? idk.
whatever.
But again rn romantic feelings are everywhere and I want to slap a pillow because I hate it.
I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.
why must I care so much for someone that doesn't care so much for me?
And this seems to happen so often. Over the past year especially. I build up feelings for someone, and they either have the same feelings, but can't reciprocate or commit, or they just don't feel anything at all.
WHY
UGH

ok. rant done.

goodbye tummies hehe

:) tammy

halloweeked: friday

GUESS WHAT FRIENDS

ITS FUCKING HALLOWEEKEND

FRIDAY NIGHT SO ONLY PART 1

ALRIGHTY SO HERE I GO(btw kinda drunk rn)

ok so I've been hanging out with this boy and like hes super chill and i like i kinda like him idk man, but like so I've harbored feelings for him for a while and like we finally decided to be fwb and now like i finally confronted him about it and hes like "idk im just not passionate about it" and im like ok why couldnt you have told me earlier like dafuq honesty is the best policy. I don't know im just so tired of this reoccurring pattern of being accepted then rejected. Like wtf is this shit. Im like fucking crying over some boy and this needs to stop. Its unhealthy and like idk. Like its fine im just so tired of feelings and feeling shitty. And the one time i try to go for something not serious i get screwed over too. SO WHATS FUCKING NEW WITH MY LIFE MATE :(

ok peace guys

love
tammy

home

"Home is where the heart is."

Well I'm apparently "home" right now, but I don't really think my heart is here. I feel lonely and sad. All those days in my dorm I was hoping to come home to my comfy bed, in a spacious room with all the privacy I can get, but now that I'm here, I just feel empty. 

I'm nostalgic. I pass by places that I used to drive by everyday, I see things that remind me of people and memories, I hear the silence that I used to experience. 

Everything is so familiar, yet so empty. 

All I want to do is go back to college. But then when I go back, I want to come back here. 

So where is my heart? Where is my home? 

fml

hahahahahahhaha so many posts in one night bcos lifes what you make it so lets make it right.
IF YOU DO NOT GET THE REFERENCE WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.
GO WATCH HANNAH MONTANA.

HONESTLY I'M SO COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF THAT I GIVE NO SHITS IF YOU THINK IM CRAZY BECAUSE WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT BEING YOURSELF.
THIS IS PROB THE MOST INTIMATE YOU'LL EVER BE WITH ME IF WE'RE NOT CLOSE SO BE APPRECIATIVE.

THANKS SO MUCH
TUMMIES

XOXO
TAMZILLA