holla @ me

ha

haha

hahaha

hahahaha
hahahahhaha

hah
haha
ha

ha
ha

*cues Christmas music because its November 1*

ha
ha
ha tell me im funny

No. ok. rant time. here i go.
do i go? do i share my feelings? im not sure. feelings are dumb right?

hello. my name is tammy and i dislike the aesthetic of the uppercase letter. Sometimes, like this instance, i find it appropriate, but most of the time i think that the use of it is excessive and annoying and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
why do words trend? who starts a word to make it trend? what the hell instigates a word to trend?

Hi. I'm Tammy and I believe in God. Do you believe in God?

This is a stream of my thoughts, and ultimately it will lead to the stream of my feelings. This is how i distract myself from telling others how I feel, because honestly I think allowing others to know how you feel is a sign of weakness. I know its cliche of me to feel this way, and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I'd rather have people think I'm weird, self centered, confused, and happy go lucky all the time.

Today is November 1.
Yesterday was October 31.
Feelings suck.

I don't get attached to people a lot of the time; quite frankly if I lost all my friends I wouldn't really feel all that sad. Maybe I'll feel lonely, but I can always find new friends. No big deal.
Who do I get attached to then?
People who I'm into romantically.
I don't know I think its really dumb for me to do that, but I can't help it. Like I want to care from the bottom of my heart, but I can't feel it for my friends. I can show that I care, but I don't feel it. And its hard because why can someone I like romantically be the only person I can truly care for????
Is this normal? idk.
whatever.
But again rn romantic feelings are everywhere and I want to slap a pillow because I hate it.
I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.
why must I care so much for someone that doesn't care so much for me?
And this seems to happen so often. Over the past year especially. I build up feelings for someone, and they either have the same feelings, but can't reciprocate or commit, or they just don't feel anything at all.
WHY
UGH

ok. rant done.

goodbye tummies hehe

:) tammy

halloweeked: friday

GUESS WHAT FRIENDS

ITS FUCKING HALLOWEEKEND

FRIDAY NIGHT SO ONLY PART 1

ALRIGHTY SO HERE I GO(btw kinda drunk rn)

ok so I've been hanging out with this boy and like hes super chill and i like i kinda like him idk man, but like so I've harbored feelings for him for a while and like we finally decided to be fwb and now like i finally confronted him about it and hes like "idk im just not passionate about it" and im like ok why couldnt you have told me earlier like dafuq honesty is the best policy. I don't know im just so tired of this reoccurring pattern of being accepted then rejected. Like wtf is this shit. Im like fucking crying over some boy and this needs to stop. Its unhealthy and like idk. Like its fine im just so tired of feelings and feeling shitty. And the one time i try to go for something not serious i get screwed over too. SO WHATS FUCKING NEW WITH MY LIFE MATE :(

ok peace guys

love
tammy

home

"Home is where the heart is."

Well I'm apparently "home" right now, but I don't really think my heart is here. I feel lonely and sad. All those days in my dorm I was hoping to come home to my comfy bed, in a spacious room with all the privacy I can get, but now that I'm here, I just feel empty. 

I'm nostalgic. I pass by places that I used to drive by everyday, I see things that remind me of people and memories, I hear the silence that I used to experience. 

Everything is so familiar, yet so empty. 

All I want to do is go back to college. But then when I go back, I want to come back here. 

So where is my heart? Where is my home? 

fml

hahahahahahhaha so many posts in one night bcos lifes what you make it so lets make it right.
IF YOU DO NOT GET THE REFERENCE WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.
GO WATCH HANNAH MONTANA.

HONESTLY I'M SO COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF THAT I GIVE NO SHITS IF YOU THINK IM CRAZY BECAUSE WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT BEING YOURSELF.
THIS IS PROB THE MOST INTIMATE YOU'LL EVER BE WITH ME IF WE'RE NOT CLOSE SO BE APPRECIATIVE.

THANKS SO MUCH
TUMMIES

XOXO
TAMZILLA

friendkip

You know when you've seen
what friendship really means
the times when you feel sad
but you've got that one lad
to be there when you're down
during all the times you frown
that's a true friend
and it won't ever end
always be a good lady
katy

low

toe
is how I cope
you know when you're feeling
low
toe
can be dope
just look at it
don't you mope
row
down that slope
with your
toe

sads

hello world.
anther post
because im feeling like poop
so basically
theres this boy
and me being me has caught feelings
but boy cannot leave his pen
so the days i have left i dont have a last goodbye with him
sad life
i am sad
i dont know
like why these feelings stand so strong
is because we share an emotional and mental connection
yet we havent even kissed
its so rare for me to find such a connection without the physical means
which strikes me as something significant
but its okay
i will get over it soon
i just am too lazy to type properly and use proper grammar
so here i am
EXPOSED

ok i feel like a poo

farewell tummies

xoxo
tamz

goodbyes and other sentiments

So 5 days left until I leave this island, and oh does time fly. It just felt like yesterday when I was eating my first bite of chicken rice of this trip.
Now 5 fucking days left.
I don't know. Half of me is excited to go back home to see my friends, eat chipotle, and sleep in my bed again, (OH also uni is starting so there's that too!) but the other half of me, is kinda sad I'm leaving. As much as the weather and the lack of transportation I have can be ass, I'll still miss the memories and the few friends I made here. It's all so bittersweet.
So here is my reflection about this trip to Singapore (I'll write a post about China and Thailand another time).
As most of you know, I use tinder as a means to meet people, network, and just use in my free time. Its kind of my go to app whenever I'm bored or want to meet new people. Falalala I've met a solid 20+ people in the month I've been here and whoa has it been a ride (literally...JOKING).
Okay going on...so I've been on quite some adventures, from riding a motorcycle for the first time, to just laying in grass in a public park for 3 hours to clubbing for hours. I don't know like these memories I will always cherish and always remember.
oeufbdvsfj
vdbkj
fuck bitches get money
i genuinely cant be genuine cos im too lazy and i cant finish anything
so basically singapore was just me drinking a lot, making some friends, liking a boy, eating food, and talking to a lot of people. I'm out almost everyday and my extrovertness is sort of running out.
I'm still thinking of my gap sem and I really want to take it but i also have a roommate of concern that I dont know if i want to room with. My grammar sucks and I really need to change my habits.

WANT TO KNOW MY GOALS FOR THIS UPCOMING SEM OF SCHOOL???
COOL ILL TELL YOU ANYWAY
1. READ A BOOK A WEEK
2. DONT FUCK AROUND TOO MUCH
3. FIND A FRIEND GROUP COS IVE NEVER HAD ONE
4. EXERCISE
5. GET A 3.7 GPA
6. FIND A GOOD JOB
7. BE OF HIGH AUTHORITY IN MY CLASS

Ok ya this post is weird and i have no patience but ok

thanks tummies for listening!!

see u laterz alligatorz

xoxo
tamz

blog goals

Here's a post to what I want my blog to entail and how I plan on using this platform.
I've used VSCO journal for a few posts, but realized that typing on my phone can be a hassle so I've resorted to blogger/blogspot.
No way am I using this to slander anyone, its more of a way for me to vent about how I feel and collect my thoughts- to see how crazy I sound, essentially. What I want to bring to this blog, are my raw thoughts, ideas, and inspirations. This isn't for any type of attention, but its more for me to be able to really allow myself to think about things when I write them down.

A few things you might see on here:
1. RANTS a lot of them
2. Life goals/ideas
3. Travel posts
4. Food posts
5. Rambling of words

This was a really choppy and extremely unorganized post but no one follows this so life is okay LOL

BYE TUMMIES

xoxo
Tammy

Years, Tears

Every child wants to grow up. I was one of those children who always thought being older was one of the best privileges. No, I'm not going to go on with this post saying I want my childhood back, but I do miss the times where I didn't worry so much about planning out my life, and feeling all this random stress and emotion.

Most of my friends know I'm a pretty carefree person. I take care of tasks as they come, and I never look too heavily on things, except one: BOYS. I don't know how, but that seems the one thing I really stress myself over. OK, yeah they give me attention I want etc etc but its just annoying, that I kind of in a sense depend on guys to keep me going. Like no matter how much I know I shouldn't be committed to someone, I'm always actively in search for a love life. I am my best person when I'm single and not worrying a thing about boys, but boys seem to always be my interest at all times, and I hate it.

Going on, the more I think about this, the more I want to act upon it. For the past few days, I've been really thinking about taking a gap semester. I would stay in Singapore for the time being, work, and travel all over south east Asia myself. I think this idea really appeals to me because for a large majority of my life, I've always wanted to live on my own schedule, instead of working with my school schedule. I genuinely feel as if its a really good step for me to grow as a person. To be able to learn from different cultures, and be able to sustain myself in the world. I've been trying to bring this up to my mom, but currently she's not open with it and I really wish she was. Like no worries about school, just time to focus on things I like to do. Enhance my skills, and continue learning about myself and the world. As much as I might miss out on things in the states, I feel as if this may be the prime time to really explore, and delve into living alone and seeing things for myself.
But I don't know, just thought right now.

See ya later, Tummies!

xoxo
Tammy

Food

Ah food is good. I mean the word rhymes with good for a reason. Food gives you energy, nutrients, nice flavors to consume, and most importantly food makes your tummy happy! Well specifically Tammy's Tummy cause you know that's my blog title.

So last night, as you can read my previous posts, I was in some angry, sad, depressed mood, and to be honest half of it was for no reason. It may have been motivated by something small, but an emotional out pour continued to thrust on.

As I was walking from my bathroom, after brushing my teeth and checking myself out, back to my bedroom to grab my laptop and realizing that the aircon was leaking, ALL THE OVERREACTION, was probably due to LACK OF FOOD. I didn't eat dinner last night because I was intending on going out, but then was too lazy and forgot to consume something. I also have really itchy armpits prob because of this humid weather, which caused me more distress.

SO I apologize for anyone that experienced my over dramatic texts, finsta posts, or even blog posts.

THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING TUMMIES.
LOVE YOU GUYS
LOLOL I HAVE 1 FOLLOWER...and its Katy HAHA

xoxo
Tammy

Donut

Puns.
I use a pun for my tinder and people like my bio for some reason. I don't know what about puns makes someone more attractive, but I guess it does. People send praise my way, or try to start some pun war and I just sit there in constant thinking mode on how to respond with something punny. I feel as if the pun really defines the person in a sense. Doesn't really say so much about them, but sure as hell gives a person more likability. Maybe its the nature of a pun. Puns are meant to be silly and carefree with a little wit that goes into it. Maybe that's what puns tell about people, a person's silliness and amount of wit one has.

I've recently met someone who swiped right for me more for the pun than my looks. I love a fellow punner, gotta say its punderful. I know, I've got to stop making these punny jokes, but its really hard.

Anyways I forgot the point to this post but hello world!

TTYL TUMMIES!

xoxo
Tammy

BITTER

WHAT IS LIFE?
WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?
WHAT EVEN ARE FRIENDS?
WHY DO WE EVEN MAKE FRIENDS?
HEAD PAIN.
HURT.

PEOPLE MAKE ME CRY, SOCIETY MAKES ME CRY. ANIMALS MAKE ME CRY. TOFU MAKES CRY.

I am angry.

Hopefully its obvious enough I am in a life crisis. Nothing major but I feel as if the world is a bubble and it has popped and exploded everywhere and I am here experiencing all this random emotion motivated from nothing. THE FUCKING BUBBLE. I may or may not make sense to some of you, but its alright if you don't care or you can't grasp the idea. No worries. This post is written to exude all my anger I feel.

Right now, it is currently 10:10pm and I feel as if a dog fell on my face. Its both enjoyable and laughable but painful af. I smell like baby powder, my armpits itch, I'm facetiming my friend, someone doesn't want to hangout with me, I'm in a foreign country, and I really want food.

10:12pm. I  have calmed down a bit. Slightly less angsty but still very salty. I feel lonely. I hate relationships(mainly cause I'm not in one), sex is weird, and I don't know what to eat tomorrow.

10:14pm. I have just realized this post is legitimately full of shit and I should stop writing.

Farewell.
Goodbye.
Until next time, Tummies!

xoxo
Tammy